


this isn't high school musical (i'm just here to vape in the bathroom)

by cryptidknees (blueraeanddvd)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Eventual Smut, High School, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Multi, No Beta, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, We Die Like Men, ben and klaus are a friends with benefits type thing, but its not much, can we just call it porn now, i hate that word, its THERE, theyll be of age when the porn comes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-01-15 18:44:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18504865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueraeanddvd/pseuds/cryptidknees
Summary: It’s hard to make a good first impression in pajamas. People always say, dress to impress, and Klaus was almost certain that his Harry Potter sweatpants (stolen from Ben, of course) and his too-big, nameless college shirt wasn’t impressing anyone.Klaus extended a hand, hoping to continue the introduction with any semblance of normalcy.“I’m Klaus. You are?”The other boy stared oddly at him, but took the hand in front of him, shaking it."Diego,"





	1. Chapter 1

It’s hard to make a good first impression in pajamas. People always say,  _ dress to impress _ , and Klaus was almost certain that his Harry Potter sweatpants (stolen from Ben, of course) and his too-big, nameless college shirt wasn’t impressing anyone.

Klaus extended a hand, hoping to continue the introduction with any semblance of normalcy. 

“I’m Klaus. You are?”

The other boy stared oddly at him, but took the hand in front of him, shaking it. It was the last few minutes of class now, all the kids no longer doing any work, instead just crowding around the door or their friends’ desks. It was the perfect time for Ben and Klaus to introduce themselves.

“Diego,” he replied coolly. God, everything this kid did was cool. From the second he walked into the classroom, leather jacket on his back and a very obvious chip on his shoulder, Klaus was sure he was gonna like them.

“This is Ben, Benny boy, the Bendy straw,” Klaus took his hand back, placing it Ben’s shoulder. He stood next to Klaus, hiding his blush in his hood.

“It’s just Ben, please don’t call me anything else.” He said, looking out through his shroud. Klaus smirked at the shy boy.

“C’mon Benny, you know you like my nicknames!” Klaus practically purred in his ear. Ben scoffed at the comment, but his cheeks were still red.

“I’m pretty sure I don’t, actually.” Ben commented, startling when Diego cleared his throat.

“I’m gonna go sit down now. I’ll… see you around, I guess.” He walked away, and the boys stood in silence.

“Good going, dumbass! You scared him away!” Ben punched Klaus in the arm.

“Ow, hey! I did the best I could! He’s too hot, even for me!” His companion scoffed at the comment. Suddenly, the bell rang, and they herded like sheep into the hallway.

 

Klaus and Ben sat at their usual table at lunch, setting their stuff down and then heading into line to get the processed food of the day. They shuffled into line, idly chatting as they went, when they noticed who was in front of them.

“Diego! Hey there, bud!” Klaus clapped a hand onto the other teen’s shoulder. Diego looked at him over his shoulder, disgust evident in his eyes. “Oka-ay, no touching then. Anyways… have you got a place to sit? Because our table is _ always _ open-” he blabbered on, but was interrupted by Diego.

“Thanks, but no. I’m just here to get a drink.” He crossed his arms, looking back at the two. Finally, Ben piped up.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna grab lunch? It’s walking taco day, which might just be the only food here that’s actually edible,” He joked, grinning when Diego chuckled at it.

“I, uh, have a lunch in my car, actually.” He replied, then stepped out of the line.

“You can’t keep running away from us, Diego! I talk to much to ignore!” Klaus yelled, leaning over Ben like he was a windowsill in some dumb romance movie. As Diego continued to walk away from the pair, Klaus was almost certain he saw a grin on his face.

“Jesus, Klaus, get off me! Are you an idiot? He’s definitely gonna hate us now!” Ben yelled at him, smacking him on the arm again.

“You’re an abuser, Ben, and you’re also wrong. I’m one hundred percent certain he finds us totally endearing; I saw him smiling-oh, no beans, thanks, love- he loves me!” Klaus grabbed his tray, doing a little twirl and putting a hand over his eyes. 

“You’re insufferable, not endearing. If he likes you after that, he might be too stupid to hang out with.” Ben replied, grabbing his own tray with a quiet  _ thank you _ .

“Not too stupid to fuck, though,” Klaus replied casually as the number pad went  _ beep beep beep _ with every press of a button. The routine was normal, the conversation wasn’t.

“Can you please  _ not _ fuck him? For once in your life, please don’t fuck him,” They approached their table with their lunches in hand, taking a seat. Klaus stroked his chin, pretending to think, then turned back to his friend.

“You know what? I think I’ll be generous this time. He obviously gets you very…” he paused, shaking his body like he had a cold flash, “riled up, so I think you deserve to have this one.” 

“He doesn’t- I’m not- I don’t  _ own  _ him, it’s not like I have dibs. He’s a person,” Ben replied, pulling his hood back over his head. He was always more confident when his hood was up. When he had his hood on, he was protected. He could say whatever he needed to say and not get hurt.

“He’s a person who will be absolutely charmed by my little Benny boy, and they’ll fall madly in love and make tons of emo babies together-” Even through Ben’s protest, Klaus continued to talk about their  _ love _ until another student approached them.

“Hey, Seance,” the girl said casually, taking a seat next to Klaus and nicking one of his fries. Seance was an unfortunate nickname Klaus had acquired in 6th grade, when he came out to everyone with a fake game of Ouija. Ben still remembered how Vanya had screamed at the movement of the board, exclaiming ‘ _ I’m not homophobic! _ ’ when she saw the board spell out  _ I-M G-A-Y _ . 

“Well, hello, Liz; a pleasure to see you.” Klaus grinned at her, mocking a posh accent. She straightened her posture, following in tow.

“And you as well. I came here to acquire some… sensitive information,” she continued, dropping her act and going back to her regular, slightly southern voice, “Got anything about the new kid? I saw you talking to him earlier; I know he’s your type, but I’d at least like a chance at this one,” Ben grimaced, slightly disappointed at the girl’s interest. It’s not like he really thought anything would happen with Diego, but he’d be lying if he said Klaus hadn’t given him at least a little bit of hope. 

“Oof, sorry, babe, not this time. Diego’s got real big gay vibes. Trust me, us gays have a real good… sense for this. Benny’s got dibs anyways,” Klaus replied, pointing a thumb back at Ben, who pulled down his hood a bit more.

“I don’t have dibs, Liz. He’s delusional.” Ben replied, raising his hand to lightly hit Klaus, who flinched away before he even swung.

“It’s about time you got in the game, Ben! Well, good luck, I’m gonna head out. Love ya!” She waved to Klaus, who blew her an exaggerated kiss. She walked back, returning to her table of preps and jocks, leaving Ben and Klaus to themselves once again.

“God, she’s a prick, isn’t she?” Klaus turned back to Ben, rolling his eyes. Ben opened his mouth to answer, but he was interrupted. Typical.

“She seemed nice to me. Mind giving me my ID back?” Diego leaned close behind Ben, an arm on the table next to him. He was clearly talking to Klaus, but Ben felt either very threatened or very turned on; he couldn’t decide which.

“Well, you don’t know her. She talks a  _ lot _ of shit,” Klaus replied easily, dipping a hand into his pants, pulling the ID out with a crack of his waistline against skin. He handed it back to Diego, who took it by the corner. “Please, I’m clean. And your picture is cute, but orange doesn’t really suit you. Maybe try a green or something next time.” Diego side eyed him, but he seemed more relaxed.

“Yeah, I’ll consider it.” He said, then adjusted his jacket and walked away. Ben noted the worn converse on his feet; what a dork. 

Once Diego was out of sight, Ben punched Klaus with the intent to injure.

“Ow! What the hell, stop hitting me!”

“Stop being an idiot, then! You stole his ID? Why? How? Do you even have a brain?” 

“I took it to find out how old he is, first of all, and just to check him out a bit. He’s an organ donor, by the way; that seems like something you’d like.” He replied, pausing for a moment for any response from Ben, but when the only thing he got was a glare, he continued. “First name: Diego, last name: Castaneda. Seventeen years of age. He’s from Los Angeles, has dark brown hair and stunning brown orbs-” Ben scoffed, at the last bit, causing Klaus to giggle. Ben was only 16, being a summer child and having started school a bit earlier than everyone else. It was okay though, one year isn’t too long.

“Stop being so dramatic, Ben; you need to chill out. Hey, you know, we have a substitute in English, and we don’t have shit to do in math, so we could head to the bathroom if you want.” Klaus offered, likely as a peace offering for being a dumbass. Ben picked at his hoodie strings, but silently got up and headed that way.

Nobody ever used the bathroom for its intended purpose. If you went into the bathroom to piss, you would most certainly come out with either a high or popcorn lung, depending on which poison you pick. 

The boys entered the bathroom, saying little hello’s to fellow stoners they knew, and giving a slight nod to the dumb jocks vaping in one corner. Klaus jokingly bowed to one of the said jocks, a buff, blonde asshole named Luther. The beefcake of a boy flipped a middle finger at the other teen, who gasped but continued his way into the handicapped stall. 

“C’mon, guys, we don’t wanna catch the stoner disease,” they heard Luther say, and the heavy footsteps of football players could be heard exiting the bathroom. Ben never really cared about anything Luther had to say. Nothing someone with a 1.73 GPA said could ever hurt him; how could he be insulted by someone with no brain cells? 

Klaus reached into his book bag pocket, pulling out his dab pen and taking a hit.

“ I like that you make fun of people who vape, but then you basically vape with this thing.” Ben commented, taking the pen and hitting it. 

“This is different; this is  _ drugs _ . Nicotine doesn’t do shit for you, it’s just lame.” Klaus replied. They started a rotation, talking in between hits.

“Nicotine calms you down,”

“Yeah, but only in the moment. Smoking pot and smoking cigarettes are two  _ very _ different experiences. We do it to have a good time, our favorite little monkey man does it to seem cool,” Ben laughed at Klaus’s nickname for Luther. He had almost gotten punched for saying it to him once, but Allison had told him to back off. Ben wasn’t sure what it was, but Klaus had some kind of dirt on the pair that they didn’t want getting out.

They continued to chat and hit until the bell rang. They went to class and did absolutely nothing (Ben took a nap in Pre-Calc, but that wasn’t very interesting), only starting to come down in their last period: English.

Ben and Klaus took their seats at the back of the room, turning their desks to face each other. Ben pulled out a notebook, doodling nonsensical things on the pages; he was still too high to read, or to do anything substantial. 

“Ben, Ben, look!” Klaus shout-whispered at him, shaking his arm vigorously. He pulled his arm back, but looked up to where Klaus was pointing; Diego had entered the room.

“Diego!” Ben called out impulsively, flinching back when Diego looked at him. “There’s a seat here, if you want it,” He said quietly now, his cheeks flushing slightly at his outburst. Diego gave him a one-over, then made his way down the isle of desks. Klaus drummed his hands on top of Ben’s practically vibrating from excitement.

“I told you he liked us,” Klaus grinned at him, “You should have more faith in me.” Diego dropped himself into the seat (not before Klaus turned it to face the pair) and said,

“Just don’t steal any of my stuff this time, okay?” Klaus stuck out his pinky finger, and Diego took it with a slight chuckle.

“I pinky promise. Now, tell us about yourself, oh mysterious one,” Klaus’s feet swayed idly underneath the table.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to; Klaus just doesn’t know what boundaries are.” Ben added.

“I just don’t have boundaries when I’m  _ high _ ,”

“You’re always high,”

“So are you,”

“Wait, you two are  _ high _ ?” Diego interrupted, his disbelief evident in his voice. Ben tensed, worried that he was one of those  _ no drug _ kids and that he was already losing his very slim chance of a friendship with him.

“You’re not? What the hell were you smoking at lunch, then?” Klaus questioned. Diego looked at him like he was the stupidest person he had ever met.

“You smoke  _ cigarettes _ ? Oh god, Ben, you can’t have this one he’s just too cool,” Klaus mocked, fanning himself dramatically. Ben readied his fist, but Klaus knew this routine and cut it out instantly.

“How do you like those? Or, wait, do you just do it to pull together that bad boy aesthetic?” 

“I do it because I like it, I don’t know how you want me to explain that. Why do you smoke weed? It’s the same concept,” Diego replied, utterly unimpressed by Klaus’s acts. It was surprising, really; Ben was usually the only one that could put up with him.

“I’m getting deja vu, Ben and I literally  _ just _ had this conversation,”

“Well then we shouldn’t have it again.” Ben interrupted. Diego obviously didn’t enjoy this conversation, so he wanted to stop it as soon as possible.

“One more thing on the subject; do you vape?” Klaus asked, and Diego looked instantly disgusted. 

“God, no. Vapes are for pussies,” he replied, and Klaus raised his arms into the air like the lord had just appeared in front of him.

“Praise the lord! Blessed be thy name! We would’ve had to kick you out if you vaped,” Klaus grinned at a half-smiling Diego.

“There’s a lot of things I disagree with Klaus on, but yeah, we would’ve had to get rid of you,” Ben pulled his hood down, goofily smiling at his friends, his hair sticking up in every direction. Klaus brought a hand up to flatten it down for him, stuffing him up like he was a kitten.

“At least I know you have good taste,” Diego joked. The boy continued to idly chitchat for a while, talking about Diego’s life before he moved.

“Yeah, my mom and I moved here after she divorced my dad. We live down on Elizabeth, like, right next to campus.” Diego explained, all nonchalant and cool. Ben thought about saying something about his parents, but Klaus beat him to it.

“That sucks about your parents, man, but it’s usually for the best,” He said, and Ben knew it was better that he hadn’t said anything. Klaus had told him once,  _ don’t say sorry for things your not involved in; nobody wants to be pitied _ . Ben figured he needed to remember that from now on.

Diego shrugged, “Yeah, we’re definitely happier without him. He was a prick,” Klaus barked out a laugh.

“Yeah, man, I hear that. I had to call the cops on my dad just to get him out of the fuckin house,” Klaus joked, but Ben knew it wasn’t actually as funny as he made it sound; he had been there when it happened. Ben had been spending the night at Klaus’s, a usual routine for them on the weekends, when his dad showed up drunk. He was yelling a lot and threatening Klaus’s mom, to the point where Klaus had to hold him down until the police showed up. It was one of the worst experiences Ben had ever had, but he was glad he was there. Afterwards, Klaus was a mess, and Ben wasn’t sure what would have happened to him if he hadn’t been there to talk him through it.

Ben knew he was lucky. He had never had any real family problems, a few arguments now and then with his parents or with his siblings, but nothing like Klaus had gone through. Ben’s family had good money, his parents loved each other and they got along, his siblings were all bearable. He was truly lucky to have what he did, and being friends with Klaus made him realize that more than anything else had.

Diego whistled low, leaning back in his chair. “That’s shit, man. My dad didn’t do anything like that, but he sure fought like hell for our money.”

“Seems like he won if you had to move to Ohio,” Ben commented, a small smile teasing at his lips. Diego looked at him like he was surprised; maybe because it had been so long since he had contributed to the conversation.

“Seems like it, doesn’t it? For real though, we actually got more than half,but my mom wanted to be closer to her family. So now I’m stuck here.” Diego explained, eyeing Ben. 

When Diego looked at him like that, he immediately wanted to put his hood up and hide away in it. He felt like a gazelle, and Diego was a cheetah, ready to pounce.

“Can’t be that bad,” Klaus drawled, half-leaning, half-laying on his desk, “you get to hang out with us,” 

“It’s bearable,” Diego grinned, “just bearable.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego had never been a party person. He’s never even been a people person, either, but he definitely wasn’t a party person. He looked at the paper, reading Allison’s Yearly Bash. He assumed the ‘bash’ part was ironic, but it still didn’t make it tasteful.  
>  Honestly, Diego wasn’t sure why he was considering this at all, but he was. He glanced over at a particular table, where a certain pair were counting how many grapes Klaus could fit in his mouth.  
>  “Who’s gonna be there?” He asked the girl, presumably named Allison. She followed his eyes to the table, smiling with her teeth; she almost looked predatory.  
>  “Everyone who’s anything at this school. Especially Klaus, though. He’s at every party and his little puppy dog, Ben, is sure to follow.”  
>  He stared at the pair, then looked back to Allison. Her smile never faltered, her lip gloss catching the old fluorescent lights.  
>  “I might stop by,”

“Ben! Wake up! Wake up!” A little girl yelled in his face, jumping on his bed like a maniac. Her hair was up in pigtails, still dressed in a bright yellow onesie.

“My god, Sophie, I’m up. Mom told you to stop jumping on my bed,” Ben reached out and grabbed her around the waist, holding the squirming child in his grasp. Sophie was one of his four younger siblings; a twin and the youngest of the bunch at 4 years old.

“Mom said breakfast is ready and you need to get your butt up!” She wiggled out of his grasp and off of the bed. He would never understand how she had so much energy in the mornings.

“Tell her I’ll be right down,” he replied, and Sophie ran off, yelling a little  _ oo-kay _ behind her. Finally alone, Ben breathed out a sigh of relief. Fridays were his mom’s day off, which meant breakfast, which in turn meant getting woken up before his alarm by a pesky sister.

He got dressed quickly, putting on his usual sweatshirt and black jeans, topping it off with a leather jacket.  _ I’m matching with Diego today _ , he thought idly, wondering if the angsty teen would care. He pulled on his shoes and stumbled downstairs.

“Morning, hon. Pancakes are on the table,” his mother called to him as she heard his footsteps approach.

“What kind?” Ben had made the mistake of not asking before, and had been met with a mouth full of chocolate, butterscotch, and bacon pancakes (courtesy of Sophie’s cooking skills). His mom thought it was important for them all to learn how to cook from a young age, and she insisted that they support her new, bright ideas in cooking. Even if they tasted disgusting.

“Blueberry for the big kids, chocolate chip for the little ones. You’re at the head,” Ben thanked her and took his seat at the end of the table, pouring some syrup onto his pancakes.

“Ben, I was meaning to ask you: are you and Klaus coming here, or are you going to his house this weekend?” 

“I think his place, but I’ll have to ask. There’s a party tonight, so we probably won’t be back until late,” Ben explained, taking a bite of his pancakes.

“You mean Allison’s thing? You know she’s a bitch, right?” Joe entered the room, his backpack slung over his shoulder. Joe was considered the rebel of the family, always acting out, cursing, getting into fights (but honestly? Those kids deserved it). None of which were worse than what Ben did at least twice a week in the bathroom at school, but Ben was better at covering his things up.

“Language, Joe. Did you take your pill?” His mother asked, putting an egg on a plate. Most likely for their dad; he didn’t like sweets. Joe’s pills were for his ADHD. He had been diagnosed around first grade, and now his mother was very cautious of whether or not he took his dose every day. He knew his parents would never admit it, but Ben thought that they might be embarrassed of it. They still loved him, of course, Ben knew that much, but he also knew it was hard on them.

“I  _ just _ walked into the kitchen. Do you think I woke up an hour early so I could take my pill while you weren’t in here?” He trudged over to his seat, plopping into it like the miserable little hormonal teenager he was. He was a freshman this year, and it seemed like he wasn’t loving it.

“I don’t need the sas; go take your pill and eat your breakfast. Oh, do you know if Maddy’s up yet?”

“I’m not her babysitter,” was Joe’s reply. Their parents had given up on trying to discipline him for little things a long time ago.

“Did you make bacon?” Maddy yelled as she came down the stairs. The little ones followed behind her, and Ben could hear his father coming close in tow. Friday family breakfast was a tradition that still seems to be upheld.

“No, it’s pancakes today.” Their mother answered simply, setting one last plate down at the table. There was no place set for her; she never ate with them.

“Oh, honey, you know I don’t like pancakes.” Ben’s dad went over and gave his mother a kiss, who replied with,

“That’s why I made you eggs. Now eat up, kids, your dad is taking you to school.”

 

____

 

“Good morning, Benny boy, how are you on this fine day?” Klaus draped an arm over his shoulder, sipping on an iced coffee. He was better dressed today, in a pair of skin tight ripped jeans, a shirt with some obscure band tucked loosely into them, and an old, drawn on pair of shoes. 

“Family breakfast; you know how it goes.” Ben said, causing Klaus to grin. The only person who liked family breakfast more than his mother was Klaus. He had been present for many-a-breakfast, usually hungover and always over excited about it.

“Indeed I do. Anywhore, let's talk about tonight: my place or yours?” 

“Your place, since we’ll be home late. Are we meeting there or should I pick you up?”

“Pick me up, please and thank you. Now that we’re past the boring stuff, we need to figure out a plan to make Diego come,” The boys took their seats in the classroom, and Ben looked around for any sign of Diego, even though he knew he wasn’t in this class.

“You mean, to the party?” Ben asked. Klaus raised an eyebrow at him, smirking.

“And people think you’re innocent, Benny. Yes, to the party. I said I wouldn’t fuck him.” Klaus grinned wickedly at the other boy, who pulled his hood up over his face. Klaus would be the death of him someday.

“I mean, we can try to convince him to come… to the party, but do we even know if he’s been invited?” Ben questioned, putting his face in his hands. The morning announcements had started to play over the speakers, notices for upcoming sales and events that Ben certainly wasn’t interested in.

“Allison’ll definitely invite him; he’s hot and he’s interesting.” Klaus replied simply. His fingers tapped incessantly on the table, and his leg bounced up and down underneath it. It seemed like Klaus never stopped moving.

“I guess we’ll just have to ask him about it later,” Ben replied with a sigh and turned towards the teacher, pulling out his laptop to take notes.

 

_____

 

Classes passed by slowly. Klaus entertained himself throughout the classes, talking to Ben every so often as he took diligent notes. Ben phased in and out of attention, typing but not retaining any of the information.

Once fourth period hit, he was already done with the day. He plopped into his seat, watching for Diego. As soon as he entered the door, Ben called out to him.

“Come sit with us. Don’t worry, there’s no assigned seats.” Diego stared at him and Klaus, contemplating the situation, then shrugged and walked over to them. 

“Yay, the gang’s all here!” Klaus clapped his hands together, a cheshire grin plastered on his face. Diego wondered idly if he ever stopped smiling.

“Now that we’ve got you cornered, have you met Allison?” Klaus asked.

“I can’t say I have,”

“Lucky; she’s kind of a bitch, but her parties are cool.”

“Ah…” Diego nodded at him, unaware of what to say. The small moment of silence was thick, and Ben felt that he had to say something.

“I wish we had more classes together,” Ben said, his cheeks flushing. He was luck his hood was already up, “Klaus and I can’t entertain each other forever; we run out of things to talk about. We need some outsider influence,” 

“That’s very true, Benny. If you want, I could talk to the dean about it, switch your classes around,” Klaus commented, offering it up like it was no big deal. Ben snorted.

“Like he would listen to you. You’re in trouble, like, every day.”

“How do you think we ended up in all of the same classes, Ben?” Klaus asked indignantly, seemingly annoyed at the boys’ doubtfulness.

“How the hell did you convince him to do that?” Diego questioned. Klaus smiled at him, happy to be indulged.

“I went into his office with Ben and I’s report cards from last year and I said ‘Sir, you can’t deny the numbers! We get better scores in all the classes we have together, so if you put us in all the same classes, we’ll be totally efficient!’” Klaus waved his hands wildly, practically acting out the scene. The other two teens couldn’t help but smile at him.

“And that worked?” Diego asked in disbelief.

“Obviously, since we’re in all the same classes this year. I can’t believe you guys are doubting me this much!” Klaus slouched back in his chair, looking a little grim. Ben felt bad, honestly, but Klaus didn’t have that great of a reputation with the administration.

“Sorry, Klaus, I guess we underestimated you.” Ben apologized. He almost couldn’t believe that he would go through so much trouble just to spend time with him.

“Yeah, well, maybe next time you’ll estimate me.” Klaus tried to suppress a grin as he said it, but it crept slowly from the corners of his mouth and to his eyes. Ben couldn’t help but smile back.

“Was that an Office quote?” Diego asked, and Klaus lit up.

“Hell yeah, this man has good taste!” 

The boys spent the rest of the class chatting and ignoring their work, then headed to lunch.

____

 

Diego stayed in the cafeteria for lunch, but sat alone at a table, reading a book. Ben and Klaus had tried to reel him into their table, but he refused. Lunch was his quiet time, so they left him alone.

About fifteen minutes into lunch, a girl approached Diego’s table. Her big, poofy hair bounced as she walked, her heels clicking with every step. She wore an extremely short skirt, a striped shirt, and a jacket overtop. She seemed… perfectly put together. It unsettled him.

She stopped next to him, leaning slightly on the table.

“Hello there, new kid. You’ve probably heard about it, but I’m having a bit of a party tonight and I want  _ you _ ,” she reached up to poke his nose, but he leaned back, “to come.”

“I’ll pass,” he replied swiftly, crossing his arms.

“C’mon, new kid! It’s like a welcome party for you,” she paused for a second, tapping her chin in mock contemplation, “but not really. Anyways, you should come; you might make some friends.” She leaned closer to him, setting a slip of paper on the table. “I hope I’ll see you there.” She gave him one last smile, waiting for any kind of response. Her acrylic nails clicked impatiently against the table.

Diego had never been a party person. He’s never even been a people person, either, but he definitely wasn’t a party person. He looked at the paper, reading  _ Allison’s Yearly Bash _ . He assumed the ‘bash’ part was ironic, but it still didn’t make it tasteful.

Honestly, Diego wasn’t sure why he was considering this at  _ all _ , but he was. He glanced over at a particular table, where a certain pair were counting how many grapes Klaus could fit in his mouth.

“Who’s gonna be there?” He asked the girl, presumably named Allison. She followed his eyes to the table, smiling with her teeth; she almost looked predatory.

“Everyone who’s anything at this school. Especially Klaus, though. He’s at every party and his little puppy dog, Ben, is sure to follow.”

He stared at the pair, then looked back to Allison. Her smile never faltered, her lip gloss catching the old fluorescent lights.

“I might stop by,” Diego replied smoothly. Allison instantly perked up.

“Great! I’ll see you then!” She gave him a little wave before she walked off, back towards her table. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of a filler chapter this time. I've already got a rough draft of the next chapter, so it should be soon to follow. I'm on tumblr @BigMistakeTM,,, As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s never known Klaus to be the most PG-13 person. He was always making some kind of suggestive comment or wearing a piece of revealing clothing, but this was a whole other level.  
>  Klaus was sat atop the table, practically grinding into it, a skirt on his hips and an almost nothing mesh top on his upper half. He had on black lipstick, but it was smeared onto his cheek. He looked like a mess, an absolute wreck, but he was hot and it was doing things for Diego. He looked at Ben for any sort of guidance, but his eyes were on Klaus with rapt attention. Diego almost didn’t notice the black mark on Ben’s neck.

Diego should just go home. As he sat in his parked car, staring at the house and the people mulling in and out of it, he contemplated leaving. If we went in, he would have to stay; he would be stuck. But now, here, in his car, he can just leave and nobody will ever know he came at all. But then he thought of Klaus and Ben, and thought that maybe an hour in a house full of people he didn’t know wouldn’t be that bad.

With a heavy sigh, Diego pushed himself out of the car, and made his way down the sidewalk towards the house. 

He could hear the music from where he parked, thrumming through the neighborhood. He had come late, and had wasted even more time panicking in his car. As he approached, he could see that numerous kids were sat in the yard smoking, sitting in circles or on the porch ledges and talking. Diego thought about stopping for a smoke himself, but decided against it. He was here for Ben and Klaus.

Diego couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he had gotten attached to the duo. He thought they would be a simple annoyance for the first few days, but they had latched on and somehow gotten him to like them. Klaus was annoying and loud, Ben was awkward and judgemental, and yet he liked them. A lot. Hell, Klaus had fucking  _ stolen his ID _ , and yet he can’t bring himself to hate him. There was just something about them that he couldn’t figure out.

When Diego entered the house, he realized the party was truly in full swing. Kids swayed to whatever techno music was playing over the speakers, cups or bottled full of what Diego could only assume was alcohol in their hands. He wandered through the crowds of kids, feeling their eyes on him, as he made his way to the kitchen. If he was gonna stay here, he would need a drink.

Diego entered the kitchen, less packed than the other rooms, but there were still a few kids here and there. One guy was passing out drinks, some mix of orange juice and an alcohol label he couldn’t read. He was handed one, and gladly accepted it. He hovered in the room for a moment, taking sips of his drink, when someone else entered the room. He was yelling to someone in the living room, laughing and just generally being loud. Diego gave the teen a once over.

He was  _ built _ , like, really built. His shoulders were broad and his chest was large, his arms were the size of Diego’s head. He was a huge kid, but he didn’t seem intimidating. Probably because of the juul in his hand. He grabbed a drink from the honorary bartender, and turned to look at Diego.

“Hey, you’re the new kid, right? Allison said you’d be here.” He leaned against the island counter, waiting for a response from the other teen.

“Uh, yeah, I thought I’d stop by.”

“Cool, cool, you play any sports?”

“Um… no.”

“You totally should, bro, we can always use more players,” The guy said, taking a hit of his juul. Diego grimaced at it, but stopped when the guy offered it up to him.

“Bro, you want a hit?”

“I’ll pass.” Diego waved him off, and the guy smiled wickedly.

“Oh, so you’re like some kinda pussy that doesn’t juul. That’s lame, bro.” He punctuated his sentence with a hit of the thing, blowing the smoke right at Diego. It smelled like mango.

“I’m the pussy? Why don’t you just smoke cigarettes and die like the rest of us?” Diego snarled at him. The friendly persona fell off of the kid’s face, and he looked at him with real anger in his eyes.

“ **Bro** . Smoking will give you  _ cancer _ . Juuling is safe and cool, it’s not my fault you’re a fucking dumb little asshole,”

“I could beat the shit out of you, you know,” Diego’s hands instinctively balled into fists. He thought about walking away, considering looking around for Ben and Klaus, but when you speak of the devil, he shall appear. Ben sauntered through the door, hood down and a drink in hand.

“Ben?” Diego called out to him, half question and half statement. He flinched, looking swiftly up at him, and smiled dumbly when he realized who it was.

“Diego! You came!” Ben exclaimed very un-Ben-like, and made his way across the kitchen to him. He stood abnormally close, and stared Diego straight in the eyes.

“I’m surprised you came, it doesn’t seem like something you’d like. Not that I don’t want you here! I do! I just don’t want you to be  _ uncomfortable  _ or anything-” Ben rambled on, until Diego set a heavy hand on his shoulder.

“I’m fine, Ben. If I didn’t wanna come, I wouldn’t have.” Diego assured him. He had never looked Ben in the eye for this long; he usually had his hood up around him, and almost never made eye contact with him, instead choosing to look at everything  _ but  _ Diego. His eyes met the juul bro’s, and his face fell.

“Hey, Luther, do you need something?” Ben asked. Luther looked like he was about to say something, but apparently decided against it and sauntered out of the room. Ben shrugged it off like he had never even been there.

“Well, I’m glad you did, because I’m pretty drunk and someone needs to babysit Klaus,” Ben chuckled, taking a sip of whatever was in Diego’s hand. “Ugh, Martin makes shit drinks.

“Why does Klaus need babysat? He seems pretty capable of taking care of himself,” Diego replied, causing Ben to snort.  _ Cute _ , Diego thought, before his mind could catch itself.

“He needs babysitting because he’s on acid and dancing on a table,” Ben said casually, taking another sip of Diego’s drink. Diego’s eyes went wide.

“He’s on  _ acid _ ? Who the hell let him do acid?” Diego asked, dumbfounded. Ben chuckled again.

“Nobody  _ let _ him, he does what he wants. And it’s not like it’s his first time, he just needs a little extra help keeping in line, which is now  _ your  _ job.” Ben poked a finger into Diego’s chest and giggled, smiling up at the teen. Diego was only a bit taller than Ben, but he always looked so small in his jacket, his shoulders hunched and his hood up. He made himself smaller, forced himself to hide away, but it didn’t seem like he was in this moment. He was relaxed, so uncharacteristically Ben, but also  _ so Ben _ . Diego didn’t know what he was thinking; he figured the alcohol was kicking in.

“Where is he?” Diego finally sighed, accepting his fate as honorary Klaus-sitter. Almost like a bat signal, a cheer erupted from a few rooms over.

“Most likely in there,” Ben replied, taking Diego lightly by the hand and leading him though the house and towards the living room. The sound grew louder and louder as they got closer, and when he entered the room, he realized why people were cheering. He stopped dead in the doorway, almost hypnotized by what he saw.

He’s never known Klaus to be the most PG-13 person. He was always making some kind of suggestive comment or wearing a piece of revealing clothing, but this was a whole other level.

Klaus was sat atop the table, practically grinding into it, a skirt on his hips and an almost nothing mesh top on his upper half. He had on black lipstick, but it was smeared onto his cheek. He looked like a mess, an absolute wreck, but he was  _ hot _ and it was doing things for Diego. He looked at Ben for any sort of guidance, but his eyes were on Klaus with rapt attention. Diego almost didn’t notice the black mark on Ben’s neck.

Diego didn’t know what to say, what to do, so he just watched. Watched as Klaus, on his knees, bent back onto the table, stretching in a way that seemed inhuman. He came back up fast, slamming his hand in front of him with a  _ bang _ . He seemed ready, willing, to do more, but then he finally noticed Diego. His eyes lit up, and a huge grin formed on his face.

“Sorry everyone, shows over, I’ve got to attend to my boy toys,” he laughed, stepping off of the table and toward Diego. The crowd that had formed around the table started to disperse, everyone going back to what they were doing before. Klaus sauntered over to his two friends, laying a gentle hand on Diego’s cheek; he tried not to flinch away.

“I think I can see sound,” he whispered to Diego. His own laugh seemed to throw him off balance, and Diego had to hold his arm to keep him steady, “Your hands are cold. I could warm you up if you want.” Klaus purred, his hand trailing down from Diego’s neck to his chest.

Diego could feel his heart quicken, and was now hyper aware of everything around him. He could feel Ben at his side; when had he started leaning on him?

Diego coughed, trying to get his composure back. “I think it’s about time you two had a little break. Do you wanna head to the basement and chill out for a while?” He offered. Ben shook his head no, practically rubbing his face on Diego’s arm. He was clinging to him, like a koala to its mother. He could tell Klaus didn’t like the idea, either, if the look on his face was any indication.

“I have a better idea, because I’m a genius. Let’s go up to one of the bedrooms instead; the red in here is too loud,” Diego looked around at the room; the walls were yellow.

“You know what? Yeah, that’s a good idea, Klaus. Are you good with that, Ben?” Diego turned his head to look down at Ben, who still clutched onto his sleeve. He nodded in agreement. “Great, let’s… do that. Klaus, lead the way.” He instructed, and Klaus gladly obliged. He took his hand, Ben held on to his other, and they made their way upstairs together.

 

Almost as soon as they entered the room, Ben and Klaus collapsed onto the bed. Diego locked the door and took a look around, making sure there was no one else in the room. From what he could tell, it was a master bedroom; then again, this house was bigger and fancier than any he had been in before. There was a bathroom attached to it, a large jacuzzi-type bathtub in it, and three sinks (why would you need so many sinks?) lined the wall. 

When he turned back to the duo, they were practically tangled together. Ben was latched onto Klaus’s side now, their legs intertwined. Klaus was running a hand through Ben’s hair, staring up at the ceiling.

“You alright there, Klaus?” Diego asked softly, sitting behind them at the head of the bed. 

“The ceiling looks like water. Is the ceiling moving for you, too?” 

“It’s spinning, everything’s spinning.” Ben replied to him. He had opened his eyes for only a moment, but closed them once again.

“Do either of you want a glass of water?” Diego offered, and a  _ yes, please _ sounded from both of them. 

He grabbed two little cups from the bathroom and filled them with water, then returned to the boys. They both thanked him, sitting up to drink, leaning back on the headrest.  _ I guess I’m babysitting them both, now _ , Diego thought. He wasn’t sure if he should laugh in this situation or not.

He sat back down with them, in front of them this time. Klaus smiled at him.

“I’m sure you’re having  _ so  _ much fun taking care of us,” he said between sips of his water, “If you want, you can go back down to the party. I can take care of him,” Klaus slipped his arm around Ben’s waist, lightly resting his head on his shoulder.

“You’re on drugs, Klaus, I’m not letting you be in charge.” Diego stated. Klaus shrugged and took another sip of his water.

“Good thing I’m a switch,” Klaus replied, earning a laugh from Ben. 

“I think you’re a bottom at heart,” Ben commented Klaus let out an over exaggerated gasp.

“How would you know? I’ve never bottomed for you,” He replied. Diego furrowed his brow.

“You practically  _ radiate _ bottom energy,”

“I’m at least a power bottom, if anything,”

“Are you guys dating?” Diego asked them. The both paused, looked at each other, and then back at him.

“No,” Ben said,

“Yes,” Klaus replied at the same time.

“It’s… complicated.” Ben sighed, reaching to put his hood up, but Klaus grabbed his hand before he could.

“No, don’t do that. This is a real conversation; you can’t block it out.” Ben lowered his hand guiltily as Klaus continued to speak, “And it’s not really that complicated, we’re best friends and we fuck sometimes.”

“But it’s an open thing,” Ben added, blushing.

“Okay… that’s a little confusing, but I think I get it,” Diego drawled. He folded his hands in his lap, his eyes shifting between the two teens.

“Do you wanna watch?” Klaus offered. Ben halfheartedly hit him on the arm.

“You’re so annoying sometimes, you know that?” He asked, but there was no venom in his voice.

“Yeah, I know. I’m lucky you’ll put up with me,” he turned to Diego, “I was kidding, by the way, unless you actually want to, in which case I’m not joking,” Klaus said again, earning him another hit.

“Okay, okay, please don’t get scared away; I-  _ we _ actually enjoy your company. I know we’re like, super cool, but we actually don’t have a lot of friends,” Klaus said, then paused, “real friends, I mean.”

“I don’t think you can scare me away at this point; I’m too attached to you now,” Diego laughed. He wiped a hand down his face, trying and failing to wipe away his hint of blush, “I don’t know how you did it, but you did. I like you guys a lot… as friends.”

“Of course as friends, dummy,” Ben laughed at him, “We wouldn’t expect anything different,”

“Yeah, but my offer still stands. Voyeurism is a normal- ow, ow! Okay, Ben, I get it- we’re glad to have you as our friend, Diego. Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go stare at the fish tank,” Klaus finished. He slid out of Ben’s grasp, ignoring his groan of protest, and gave him a goodbye kiss. Then, he stumbled off of the bed and into the bathroom, sitting down in front of the tub and just. Staring at it.

“Ben, is this… normal? Should I stop him?” Diego asked warily, watching Klaus as his head moved to follow the ‘fish’.

“It’s best just to let him do his thing,” he said. He looked at Diego oddly, then motioned for him to come forward, “come here, I’m lonely.”

Diego obliged, scooting next to him on the bed. Ben made a noise that Diego took as approval, and snuggled up next to him, holding his hand, eyes shut. Diego smiled and placed a light hand in Ben’s hair, like he had seen Klaus do.

“Tired?” He asked him,

“Mm…” was the only reply he got. 

He stared at the boy for another beat, then shifted to get comfortable, and started running his hands through his soft locks. There was something so domestic about the moment, just sitting and petting Ben’s head as he slowly drifted off. Diego’s eyes wandered to Klaus, who reminded him of a cat in the moment, head zipping back and forth to watch whatever imaginary fish he saw. Diego almost expected him to swat at them.

By the end of the night, Diego came to the conclusion that it was a good thing he came to the party. If he hadn’t he wouldn’t have gotten to experience the absolute chaos of Ben and Klaus.  _ I guess I don’t mind babysitting that much _ , Diego thought to himself,  _ it’s actually pretty nice _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is like,,, 90% dialogue but i felt like i needed more human interaction, so here it is. i actually like how this turned out, even though it wasn't as un-PG-13 as i originally planned. Ben is a softboy sometimes and nobody can convince me otherwise.  
> if you like what i write, please consider leaving a comment or a kudos; i really appreciate it!  
> as always, thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> i already have outlines for upcoming chapters, so new ones will be up soon. i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoy writing it. comments and kudos are greatly appreciated


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